"Taking One Day at a Time"

This past week has been a challenge for me; at moments I ask why I put myself in such a vulnerable situation-totally alone without a soul whom I feel can relate to me, BUT that's when God reminds me I am not alone- I have him, I have my sister and other family members, I have my Dad and brother, and I have my friends. While some of these people may not physically be here with me experiencing everything right beside me they are with me through the power of friendship and the bonds formed between father and daughter or siblings. I am so grateful for my life, and while it is easy to get stuck in the mind set that "this completely sucks" I am grateful for the experience and opportunity to be here for my beautiful baby sister whom to my surprise needs me just as much as I need her right now. A while back while I was living in California I asked God to bless my life with personal challenges so that I could grow both mentally and spiritually and I already see that beginning to happen. It's in our moments of struggle and weakness where we are pushed to our limits and come out a stronger person. Growing up is not an easy process, but again I am thankful because some people don't get such opportunities to further their education and strive for their dreams, some people don't get to even live this far into their life. Everyday is a blessing "If I choose to make it so" the power of our minds can be so influential in how we live our daily lives and can totally transform a lousy day into a enjoyable one. 


I want to Personally Thank all my family and friends for being my backbone in these days of adjustment, where at moments I feel like crying like a baby or screaming at the top of my lungs LOL but somehow manage to find the strength to push through them and attempt to see the good in it. I love you all and hope to make you proud in my journey of self discovery and personal improvement. No one said Growing up was easy, but it can be self rewarding =]

"Live and don't Look back, Love and don't regret"

As I move on to this next big journey in my life I find myself overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I know not a day will go by that I won't think about you, pray for you, and wish I could see you smile- Daddy I love you with all my heart. You have provided for me every day of my life, and you have always put your children first and I hope some day that God blesses with me with a husband that's half the man you are! You have been my backbone during the darkest days of my life and helped me stand up and pick up the pieces in my life that I'd let shatter to the floor. When I look back on how far I've come to where I am today I smile- not forgetting who taught me how to live this new life that I now live. The decision to leave home and go away for school has been one of the hardest choices of my life, but what helps me cope with the stress and anxiety is the power of my FAITH. I have faith that God is going to take care of me- providing me with strength and love every day of my life. While it breaks my heart to think of my best friends who will not be going with me : Ashley, Ashlynd, Alejandra, Cynthia, My #1 Dad! and Brother!, Ben, Josue Karen, and Violet I know that we will remain friends! I look forward to the visits I will have- as we will cherish every memory we have and every opportunity to smile- and before you know it school will be over and I'll be able to visit more often. While I can't promise where life will take us down the road, I can guarantee you that you have changed my life and I love you so much. You guys have been there for me 24/7 and all of my happiest memories have been with one of you present. I just want to thank God for blessing me every day with moments of pure happiness and the comfort of knowing I have friends and family-who love me dearly and just want what's best for me- I could seriously not ask for anything more in life! Thank You

"To Which Path does Your Heart Desire"

The decisions of today help pave the way for tomorrows future, while others are stressing over whether I'm making the "correct choice"my main concern is what makes me happiest. It's difficult to distinguish whether I'm finding myself on a new path because i've come to see life in a new perspective, or the fright and nerves of leaving what's comfortable are slowly setting in. Ever since I was a little girl I always dreamed of going to Cal Poly, but sometimes our dreams change and are molded into new dreams, and there was a point this year when I thought I had to let that dream go and learn to accept new opportunities and make the most of them. It tears me apart that sacrifices do have to be made in either case, either I stay and go to my dream school or I leave and get an opportunity to see some of my family more often, but again leaving others behind. I love my father like no other, he is seriously my best friend and I thank God every day for blessing me with such a strong relationship with him where I can be completely open and honest with him. I try to not ask the advice of others too often because it's there opinions that blind me of what I truly want for my own future and my life. While others may sit back and tell me what they see best fit for my life, they will not be the ones living it- I will be. I know what ever choice I make I will make the most of it, because that is the type of person God has molded me into. 

Friendship the wonderful blessings of life, the connections we form with - what once were complete strangers to us- are our so called "chosen family". To live with out a friend seems no way to live ones life, I yearn for the days to pass away the time in the company of a companion, laughing over the memories of yesterday, imagining the hopes of our dreams tomorrow. I love my friends for being my rock when I call upon them, for brightening up my day, and upmost for allowing me to live my life as I choose to and loving me anyways. In the past I don't think I was always the best at being a friend, but through the course of time and different experiences I believe that I have come to learn how to be the type of friend that comforts the ones they love in their time of need, reassuring them that their happiness is what matters, but above all- not telling them how to live their life, but instead listening to them so that they can figure out what they personally want to do because in the end of the day we have to live with our personal choices, so make sure to make your decisions with your interest in mind not what someone else has decided is best for you. These past few weeks have truly blessed my heart as I make memories that will last a lifetime, balancing school and family along side, but overall just enjoying each day for what it is- an opportunity to live! to breathe! to be freely me! :)

"Don't Let Negativity Bring You Down"

The other day I was visiting with a friend, and she brought up how someone was angry with God because they felt as if he had let them down because bad things were happening in their life; having God be apart of your life does not mean that you are exempt from tragedies happening to you, it just means that you will be better equipped with the skills to handle those tough times with God by your side. I feel that people seek the wrong results when turning to God, they assume he will be the shield protecting them from anything bad happening, and this is not the case (at least in my opinion). I asked God to come into my life because I want to learn from him; I want to be able to turn to him anytime, whether good or bad and know that he will always be there for me; I want to be able to push through the tough times because I have faith that it will soon pass just like everything does eventually, but most all I want to take the bad experiences and use the blessing of God to turn them into good ones- that I can learn from and value later in life when faced with similar incidences. I have come to find I tend to value the tough times in my life more than the easy ones, because due to the growth and strength I have gained from every difficult time, the new tough moments don't seem to appear to be as tough and I am able to handle them with more grace and optimism. When good things happen to me I remind myself to never take my Lord and Savior for granted because he has brought so much love and happiness to my life, everything good in me is a product of his presence in my life! This is my advice- don't go through life sad and resentful, everyday is a blessing that you're alive; everyday is an opportunity for a new beginning; everyday is what you choose to make of it. I choose to make it a grateful one! 

"Believe in Your Inner Strength"

"Hurtful Words"

It puzzles me why it doesn't require effort to be rude, impatient and self-centered; while it does require work to be kind, patient, and self-less. Right now I'm trying to juggle the emotions of finding out that someone I thought I could trust would go about spreading hurtful words about me. How can someone look another person in the eyes and lie straight to their face? The only conclusion I could draw was that this person is weak, and they are clinging to any opportunity to belittle others to bring themselves up. Instead of turning around and lashing out at this person for their wrong deeds, I have chosen that I will pray for them, because they obviously need help-as do we all. Trust is a very delicate and precious thing to obtain from another; it's inevitable that we are going to say things we don't necessarily mean from time to time when we're-angry, hurt, or just not thinking straight. Our best choice of action to take after this is to come to terms with our inappropriate behavior and apologize sincerely and just TRY to learn from it and not repeat such actions. At first I was pretty heated over what I'd heard-here I was so oblivious to the things this person was doing behind my back-but now reflecting over the matter I've chosen to take the high road. I can't control whether people choose to believe such words, all I can do is continue to try to be the person that I believe God wants me to be. This is a weight lifted off my shoulders as I relinquish myself from the burden of correcting someone else's wrong. It's not my responsibility to clear up someone else's mess- I am who I am- and anyone who knows me knows the type of person I am. To finish off- I'm no better than anyone else, I struggle and am rude as well, but today I know I don't have to be, if I take the extra moment to remind myself that I don't know what is going on in other peoples lives I can realize that things are not usually personal. Take for example when someone is rude in a grocery store it's not because you've done anything- they probably are dealing with a lot and are hurting right now in their life, so try to take that into consideration and shine some light on their life by brushing off their behavior and returning it with kindness. You may be surprised the difference you could make in someone else's day- let alone maybe their life.

"Be Patient with Life Choices"

I understand why people are in such a rush to find the love of their life this very moment, it's because when you experience love you feel like nothing else is important; you can conquer the world as long as that person is by your side; you find yourself and your purpose dwelling in the existence of you two as one, but I'm not naive to the fact that I'm not done growing on my own. I know I have a lot more self discovery before I settle down, what I seek in another at this moment may not be what I come to find I desire two years from now. I'm not saying shut the world out, what I'm saying is take things slowly as you pave your life in to stone, something that will be very hard to dig yourself out of. Marriage is a lifetime commitment in my eyes; I don't believe in divorce, so when that day does come it will only happen once so I'm gonna take all precautions before running into anything. Take this time to enjoy life and enjoy the diversities among the world, just because it does not work with one individual does not mean that your hopes for finding love are doomed for failure, take it as a learning experience and try to understand why it did not work out in hopes that the next time around it will. I have faith that God will do by me good when I do come to the point where I'm ready to stop living for just me and to start living for "us", but I also am going to listen and respect God when he tells me its not my time right now. Growing up is a process, which as much as you may want to ignore, can not be rushed, take the time to learn while you can before you set yourself up for something that could have been prevented if you just learned to be patient with life. 

"What's Your Purpose in Life?"

This question stumps a lot of us when it comes to finding the answer to it, and for the longest time I had no idea what my overall purpose was in life. However today I can proudly say I know, but it's not limited to one single response: My purpose is to be a good role-mode for my siblings, to make my parents proud, to be someone that my friends can rely on, to be loving and caring to the people I come into contact with but overall my purpose is to shine light in other's lives reflecting the child of God whom he has raised me up to be, to use my experiences to relate instead of judging others and to help them through their tough times of need. I want to be someone who in times of tragedies and struggles I turn to my faith to keep me strong and persevering through them as I grow closer to my Heavenly Father. I may not know exactly what career path I want to pursue, where I want to spend the rest of my life, or whom I will happily marry someday- but I know in time those details will figure themselves out- all I can do is take life one day at a time as it is given to me; adapting to the many fly balls thrown my way and learning to juggle despite the odds. This joyful outlook I have learned to have when looking over my life did not come without hitting rock bottom, but I would not change my choices or past because they brought me to this wonderful place where I am at today. I try to live a humble life- remembering that I owe it all to the grace of God because he has truly changed my life!

"Take a Walk Down Memory Lane"

Today I found myself distracted with the allusions to my past as I sorted through my belongings. It amazes me how we hold on to stuff, and the simple sight of an object can bring a flash of the past to our presence. As I sorted through everything I found myself really considering whether the items I was holding on to were essential mementos/necessities or just junk accumulating in boxes. I've really been trying to buckle down and not get attached to materialistic items, if I'm not going to use it or if it doesn't hold a special place in my heart what is the point of holding on to something that can be useful to someone else? After about four hours of going through my memory box, my clothes, and everything in my closet I ended up bagging up a good amount of things that I was holding on to "just cause". I got especially lost as I read over old letters I had in my memory box, I love how the power of a few simple words can shine light on my day and bring a smile across my face. After sitting back once everything was cleaned up it truly hit me how blessed I have it, I have so much in my life to be grateful for-whereas some people wish they had the money for this or the money for that- I'm able have an abundant amount to the point where I'm getting rid of this and that. I try to embrace my life for what it is and not take a second of it for granted, always reminding myself that I owe everything to the Big Man upstairs, Heavenly Father. 

"Don't Take Life for Granted"

Life is precious, it has the power to bring us from tears one second to joy and laughter the next. I yearn for the opportunities to be carefree, to loose myself in the moment. There has to be something said about being able to find the strength to look our fears in the eye and accept our mistakes for what they are, not denying for a minute our responsibility in the actions we took. Today I embrace the events of my past because they've taught me to love life for what it is- imperfections and all- but why does being unique or different have to be a bad thing? It doesn't. There is no perfect life or perfect this or that, there's just what you choose is the source to your happiness. I've come to learn and accept that I'm bound to fall numerous times throughout this wonderful journey I call life, I will hurt, laugh, cry, but through all those moments I will thank God for giving me everything he has. I have a roof over my head, food as a source of energy, clothes to cover my body, and most of all the ability to do the simple things that bring joy to my life. Were all just trying to find our way in life as we learn about others and ourselves everyday. I want to share my life and experience with the people whom I love, I want to wake up in the morning and be able to remember the events of yesterday, I want to learn to cope with tough times instead of seeking an escape from drugs or alcohol.  Life is subjective and it's what we choose to make of it. If were able to make the small things as heart felt as the big things we may come to find that happiness will be amongst us more often than not.

"No One Ever Said Growing Up Was Easy"

Decisions are not always easy, change is not always comfortable, but it's an inevitable step in life. As I reflect over my decisions about my future I'm scared beyond the depths of my imagination, overwhelmed with the ideas of the unknown; Will I be missed? Will it be everything I hope it will be? Will I ever return?...these questions can drive a person mad, but I find peace and reassurance in my decisions because nothing has to be permanent and that is the beauty in life; it's forever evolving we just learn to adapt and adjust to the many changes life brings our way. To not take a leap of faith in life because of fear would be a very sad way to life ones life, (in my opinion at least) I want to experience moments of sadness because then when I experience life I can be truly grateful for the small moments; something exciting doesn't have to be happening every minute of my life in order to make it pleasant. I live for the moments where I sit in peace watching life around me, as the butterflies flutter about- reminding me of the natural beauty that can be found in everyday life, if your willing to look for it. The hardest part about my future is knowing that I'm about to say, "Farewell" to the three men that mean the world to me, apart from God of course, my father, brother, and grandfather. So I've decided it doesn't have to be a sad day of good-byes, but instead I'll be saying, "See You Soon" because while my life may be pushing me in a new direction right now, I will never forget who got me to this stage in my life. There are not enough words to express how much love and gratitude I have for my dad. He's such a wonderful man, he goes to great lengths to make others happy-especially me, he has seriously become someone I admire with all my heart and I hope to someday marry a man that can live up to the great man he is and how happy he has made me. Most girls don't bond with their fathers, but God has blessed me with a blossoming relationship with mine, I'm able to be honest with him, talk about my future, and seek clarification from him when troubling times come my way. This will be tough for me, being so far away from him; but everyday I will carry you with me in my heart- dad. I will try to make you proud by being intelligent with my choices, patient with life, and kind hearted to others, like you raised me up to be.

"The Tragedies of Yesterday don't have to be the Tragedies of Today"

--That's the blessing of a New day, the possibilities that accompany it, the opportunities, and choices are all ours-all new, if we choose to make them so. As I looked around at the fast changing events of yesterday I was overwhelmed with joy; it was a reminder that life is forever evolving around me, and it's a matter of what perspective I choose to focus on while analyzing the details that surround me. The day began with pouring rain, but as the day progressed it slowly faded out and the Nimbostratus clouds(aka Rain Clouds) were replaced by beautiful full of life - Cumulus clouds. It was a beautiful sight as I sat outside and enjoyed the warmth that the sunlight was bringing, and how in only a matter of hours the atmosphere around me had pulled a complete 180. Everyday I try to remind myself of the simple fact that life is out of my control- we may think we have a lot of control on the situations that happen to us, but the reality of it is we don't. But that's okay, by me accepting this fact, I can relieve myself of most pressures to try to fix things or change them into what I want them to be. Instead I've learned to try to make the most of my life, by choosing to focus on the optimistic side of things. Take yesterdays for example, I know a lot of people were probably choosing to complain about the weather and that's perfectly fine, it's their choice; however, does complaining about anything ever change it?--No. All it does is put us in a sappy mood, that's my experience with it at least. So if we know it has that affect on us why do we do it?? My theory is because it's the easier course of action, it's easier to blame someone else for the things we don't like, it's easier to push our responsibilities off on some other excuse, but it's not the solution. To me every day is a blessing regardless of how smooth sailing or tough ridding its outcome may be, it's a blessing to be alive and experiencing life every chance I get. So when I wake up in the morning and regardless if I find it raining or shining, I put a smile on because I'm alive; breathing, healthy and strong, and that's what counts in my book! 

"It's More Than Simply a Song"

A video of inspiration on those days when you're just not sure what your purpose is or what you're living for, there's someone out there who does have faith in you and wants to see you succeed, God. A good friend of mine open my eyes to the uplifting spirit one can receive from listening to Christian Faith music. I find myself listening to my pandora station or K-love on line when I want a calming atmosphere that will get my thoughts on the right track for the many challenges I know I will face throughout the day. Music should be something that inspires us, something more than lyrics spoken out of someones mouth; they should reflect or bring out a piece from within ourselves. We may not realize just how much the music we listen to can affect our state of mind and change the direction of our thoughts, this is why I choose more often than not, to listen to aspiring, heart felt music that talks about the things I want for my life, as if it's a reminder that with the right attitude and motivation I can achieve it with God by my side.

"Just Another Part of Life"

The beauty of rain drops, as they make that peaceful melody that sets our minds at ease. I'll admit I use to dislike rain; it was so cold, so wet, so inconvenient to what I wanted at that time and moment. However, as I've grown up over the course of these past couple years I've grown to love and appreciate what rain brings to my life. It's more than just a weather that rejuvenates life and the greenery around me, but it's symbolic. I see it as a new beginning, washing away the impurities of the past and starting anew, fresh, lively with a new sense of being. As I laid down to relax last night and grabbed myself a good read before calling it a day, I was accompanied with an atmosphere of relaxation as the rain drops tapped against my window. To me weather and God are connected; I think of the blessings of cleansing away my sins. We all have mistakes, failures, or poor decisions from our past that we are not too proud of, but today I know I don't have to live a life of resentment and shame; I can hold my head up proudly and know God has forgiven me. Instead I try to learn from those experiences and strengthen my knowledge for future choices in hopes that the second time around I will make better judgements and hopefully not hurt myself or anyone else in the process. It is easy to live a life of selfishness and impatience, but God has taught me that it is more rewarding to be selfless and patient. It's in the moments where I wait and have faith that God will take care of me that I truly feel blessed. I no longer stress over everything, need to have them my way and when I want them. Which leads me back to the rain, even though it may not go accordingly to my plans for the day, it brings an element to my day and makes me grateful for the little things, like the warmth of soup, close gatherings around the fireplace, candle lit rooms; it's a phase of life just like the process of growing up, its an essential part of life that shouldn't be taken for granted and looked down upon, but rather uplifting and embraced for representing that life is unpredictable and a changing process--to live a predictable life would be boring, to never experience anything new or exciting, but instead to be fixed which to me seems like no way to live life to the fullest. I jump for opportunities of growth, moments that push me to my limits, but strengthen my soul in the end.

"Learning to Forgive"

It's never an easy process, learning to let go and realize people are only humans and they may make mistakes just as you and I have done many times ourselves. I've come to a point where I know I have to let go of the idea I have of others and accept them for who they are, including the choices they may make - even if I don't personally agree with them, truly loving my friends and family for who they are. I am forever grateful for the relationships I have developed over the years and despite all the hard times it only strengthened them in the end. How can I not forgive my lovely friends and family members when God so graciously has forgiven me for my many mistakes and broken promises. People evolve, hopefully into better people, and even if I don't believe their changes are in their best interest I have to be a good friend and be there for them and support them just as they did for me. It's not my job to dictate other people's lives, but it is my job to TRY to walk in the way of God's path, which means to forgive, to love, and to keep faith, that eventually they will see the light and find their way back just as I have. A person can only be pushed so much before the bond is broken. I want to be a friend who instead of forcing my friends to do as I would, leads by example, that they will be able to see the grace of God shinning through my life and ask themselves how they can aspire to be close to him as well, but it is not something I can force upon them, they have to want it purely on their own. I have come to the realization that time and life goes by to quickly, so why waste it bickering over irrelevant things-she said this, he did that- what it really comes down to is, do you care for this person? If the answers yes, love them for who they are, and try to build them up when they are down, spend your time laughing over life, smiling more often, and remembering its all a blessing to be alive and sharing the company of another! Friendship is truly a gift from God, be thankful for it and don't take it for granted. 

Change of Importance..

Sometimes things change, people change, its an inevitable part of life..While change can be both good and bad there's no reason to feel guilty about growing up and realizing what once was of importance is no longer...and real value lies in growing closer in those relationships which matter most. I'm so excited about leaving and being closer to my family as i adventure forward into this next stage of my life..nothing compares to the joy i receive from being around the people who love me the most; last night was confirmation of just how much my interest have changed compared to the people i once was soooo close to..and i'm not bitter about it at all..I thank God for making this process an easy transition for me, because i was nervous about leaving everything i was familiar with behind and jumping into something so different and out of my comfort zone, but for once in my life I feel like there's nothing holding me back and that is truly a blessing in my eyes!