Attempting to Not Fall into the Trap

I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of the "church" these days, but I do know one thing despite all the details and pressures that can be found within any religion I find comfort and relief from my God! I don't know about you, but what I admire and seek within a church is the bonding unity of people who are all striving to live to bring glory to God. People who, beyond the walls, may have never come across each others path, but this motivation to be better, to live for something greater, the desire to be a part of the miracles of Christ is what brings together strangers and transforms them into friends- sources of support- comforters during tradgedies. It's the unity of this body of people that stands to represent the power of God. He provides for all of us, but understands we are all UNIQUE! In being so, he understands we all need different things to help us grow and to strengthen our faith in him everyday. I may not have all the answers or no all the biblical stories by heart, but I do know that Jesus Christ died for me-for you-for all of us, so that our sins could be forgiven. I couldn't imagine living without that message held closely to my heart everyday, reminding me of the love God has for me. I rather focus my energy on my relationship with God than get lost in the details of this faith is right and this faith is wrong. In the end the real question is do you have faith in him? I do and I hope you do too. If you don't you should give him a chance. The church may have let you down or failed you somehow, but do not let that keep you from establishing a relationship with HIM!

Accomplishments of Life

So it's been way too long since I've written anything meaningful on my blog. Lately I've been juggling my hopes, dreams, desires for my life and the impact I hope to make in this world. The more time I spend thinking about what I hope to gain in life, the more I find what I do is somewhat silly. The majority of my life is spent submerged in my studies, but in the end of the day what does this really accomplish in my life: financial security- materialistic things. This is an ever ending battle that I find myself trying to rise above- I do not want to let the trials of life to blind me of what I truly want in life: an that is a life filled with meaning and significance that reflects the daughter God created me to be.

     A personal struggle I deal with is the pressure to be the best I can be; sometimes I forget I am only human and I can't be great at it all, because it's God's greatness that is my real strength and at times I will be destined to fall. However, over the course of the short life I've lived so far it's been these trials and struggles that have forced me to grow into a better me! All I can expect of myself is to handle each situation as it comes, learning to call upon God when I am weak to be my strength through these difficult times.

   When my dad and I get into one of our deep talks about life I tell him how I sometimes feel like I'm not living my life; I can get so eager for my life to progress to the point where I can be done with school that I forget to enjoy the present moments in my life. It's when I take a step back and ask myself why do I think God has me experiencing the things I am in my life that I am able to appreciate everyone and everything in my life right now instead of focusing on getting it all over. It's a sad thing when I notice that some people who once were especially important to me have slowly drifted out, but there has also been new faces that have blossomed within my life and slowly began to develop roots of importance and meaning to me, people I wouldn't trade for anything. 

A Walk Down Memory Lane

So these last two days have felt surreal- with the relief of finals being over and the return to my home town has felt dream like for me. While the comfort of familiar faces have been very rewarding, this visit has already made me realize how much I love where I go to college! I feel so blessed to have found a place where I can call home, despite the fact I've only been living out in Las Cruces for the past five months. As I look around the city that I grew up in, the streets that I know like the back of my hand- I realize that I don't think I will ever permanently move back to Santa Maria. The experience I've had away from the only place I'd ever called home (up until recently) now seems so foreign and different from what I want for my life. While I will always hold a special place for my childhood hometown, I don't see it holding a future for me. I'm excited to see what other adventures God holds for my future.

Stop Putting your Dreams off - "Start Living Now"

The Top 10 Ways to Start Living Your Life

"Everybody dies, but not everybody lives".

1. Give yourself permission to claim your life.    stop living YOUR life according to others' expectations and rules.
2. Define what living means to you. When you look back on the life you lived what meaning do you want it to hold?
3. Stop living in the future.  Ask yourself, “Why not now?”
4. Surround yourself with people who enjoy living. 
5. Lay down your pain and your anger. Let it go, it's just holding you down.
6. Let the losers win. Don't trouble yourself with things that are of no real importance to you.
7. Create energy. Jump to forgiveness and love, then figure things out. Being on the defensive isn’t living. It’s hiding from life.
8. Learn the physical symptoms of when your head and heart become disconnected. Understand your emotions so you have the power to influence them in the right direction.
9. Take small risks that push your boundaries in every way. We grow through living life to its fullest potential-stop holding back.
10. Value and protect the people and the places you care about. A job isn’t a life. It’s just a part of one. Let the people you care about come first, and let everyone know that you do.

An Important Chapter in my Life

Sometimes when I look back on how much my life has changed, from where I live, the things I do, to the people who are apart of my life-- I can't help but sometimes think of those few special people who once were so important in my life and who are now no more than just another familiar face- if that. It's sad how we disassociate with people sometimes because of past issues, change of hearts, or the simple fact that we've grown into people that no longer have anything in common. My dad once told me that there is only so much time in our days which makes our time valuable, so in the end of the day we spend that time with people who treat us right, build us up and love us for the wonderfully people we've grown into. I do miss some people from my past and wish nothing but the best for them still, but I guess I just have to come to realize that there is a point where two friends can become strangers-- does that make them any less of my friend? No, they were and always will hold a special place in my life, and I thank God for all my experiences. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though you will never read this "thank you for touching my heart and helping me to grow into the young lady I am today!" --To "Friend from the past"

Decisions Decisions

There comes a place and time when we all must face reality and grow up- I keep being told that I'm apparently "growing up so much" lol I'm slowly seeing the distance between achieving my dream getting closer and closer, as I put forward the hard work and dedication. While it is not easy being so far away from all those whom I love so dearly- I am greatful for the lack of distractions out here, I can focus purely on me and growing, in more ways than one, and not feel the slightest bit guilty about not being able to make time for others. I have set a few goals for myself this year; which I will gladly share with you: to grow closer to God, to repair some of the broken relationships in my life and make amends to the people I have treated poorly in the past. I want to take responsibility for my improper behavior, and take the first strides toward living a more faith-filled life. While I know this year will be a challenge for me-both intellectually and emotionally I am ready to take it on, because that means in the end of the day that I will be stronger from those tough times. These last couple weeks have been filled with preparations for the upcoming term and stressful organization- as I attempt to try to get back on track to graduate. While I so dearly want this- I know at the same time there is only so much I can do, and after that the situation is out of my hands and I will just have to deal with the outcome the best way possible. So far I'm loving the text I have for my two classes about physical education and with each reflection it's a reminder of how I feel this career field is a match for my personality and interest. I want to help others through my line of work, something that I will be able to do as a physical therapist =] I look forward to the changes that will be coming my way- till then I hope all is well in your life. 

"Taking One Day at a Time"

This past week has been a challenge for me; at moments I ask why I put myself in such a vulnerable situation-totally alone without a soul whom I feel can relate to me, BUT that's when God reminds me I am not alone- I have him, I have my sister and other family members, I have my Dad and brother, and I have my friends. While some of these people may not physically be here with me experiencing everything right beside me they are with me through the power of friendship and the bonds formed between father and daughter or siblings. I am so grateful for my life, and while it is easy to get stuck in the mind set that "this completely sucks" I am grateful for the experience and opportunity to be here for my beautiful baby sister whom to my surprise needs me just as much as I need her right now. A while back while I was living in California I asked God to bless my life with personal challenges so that I could grow both mentally and spiritually and I already see that beginning to happen. It's in our moments of struggle and weakness where we are pushed to our limits and come out a stronger person. Growing up is not an easy process, but again I am thankful because some people don't get such opportunities to further their education and strive for their dreams, some people don't get to even live this far into their life. Everyday is a blessing "If I choose to make it so" the power of our minds can be so influential in how we live our daily lives and can totally transform a lousy day into a enjoyable one. 


I want to Personally Thank all my family and friends for being my backbone in these days of adjustment, where at moments I feel like crying like a baby or screaming at the top of my lungs LOL but somehow manage to find the strength to push through them and attempt to see the good in it. I love you all and hope to make you proud in my journey of self discovery and personal improvement. No one said Growing up was easy, but it can be self rewarding =]

"Live and don't Look back, Love and don't regret"

As I move on to this next big journey in my life I find myself overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I know not a day will go by that I won't think about you, pray for you, and wish I could see you smile- Daddy I love you with all my heart. You have provided for me every day of my life, and you have always put your children first and I hope some day that God blesses with me with a husband that's half the man you are! You have been my backbone during the darkest days of my life and helped me stand up and pick up the pieces in my life that I'd let shatter to the floor. When I look back on how far I've come to where I am today I smile- not forgetting who taught me how to live this new life that I now live. The decision to leave home and go away for school has been one of the hardest choices of my life, but what helps me cope with the stress and anxiety is the power of my FAITH. I have faith that God is going to take care of me- providing me with strength and love every day of my life. While it breaks my heart to think of my best friends who will not be going with me : Ashley, Ashlynd, Alejandra, Cynthia, My #1 Dad! and Brother!, Ben, Josue Karen, and Violet I know that we will remain friends! I look forward to the visits I will have- as we will cherish every memory we have and every opportunity to smile- and before you know it school will be over and I'll be able to visit more often. While I can't promise where life will take us down the road, I can guarantee you that you have changed my life and I love you so much. You guys have been there for me 24/7 and all of my happiest memories have been with one of you present. I just want to thank God for blessing me every day with moments of pure happiness and the comfort of knowing I have friends and family-who love me dearly and just want what's best for me- I could seriously not ask for anything more in life! Thank You

"To Which Path does Your Heart Desire"

The decisions of today help pave the way for tomorrows future, while others are stressing over whether I'm making the "correct choice"my main concern is what makes me happiest. It's difficult to distinguish whether I'm finding myself on a new path because i've come to see life in a new perspective, or the fright and nerves of leaving what's comfortable are slowly setting in. Ever since I was a little girl I always dreamed of going to Cal Poly, but sometimes our dreams change and are molded into new dreams, and there was a point this year when I thought I had to let that dream go and learn to accept new opportunities and make the most of them. It tears me apart that sacrifices do have to be made in either case, either I stay and go to my dream school or I leave and get an opportunity to see some of my family more often, but again leaving others behind. I love my father like no other, he is seriously my best friend and I thank God every day for blessing me with such a strong relationship with him where I can be completely open and honest with him. I try to not ask the advice of others too often because it's there opinions that blind me of what I truly want for my own future and my life. While others may sit back and tell me what they see best fit for my life, they will not be the ones living it- I will be. I know what ever choice I make I will make the most of it, because that is the type of person God has molded me into. 

Friendship the wonderful blessings of life, the connections we form with - what once were complete strangers to us- are our so called "chosen family". To live with out a friend seems no way to live ones life, I yearn for the days to pass away the time in the company of a companion, laughing over the memories of yesterday, imagining the hopes of our dreams tomorrow. I love my friends for being my rock when I call upon them, for brightening up my day, and upmost for allowing me to live my life as I choose to and loving me anyways. In the past I don't think I was always the best at being a friend, but through the course of time and different experiences I believe that I have come to learn how to be the type of friend that comforts the ones they love in their time of need, reassuring them that their happiness is what matters, but above all- not telling them how to live their life, but instead listening to them so that they can figure out what they personally want to do because in the end of the day we have to live with our personal choices, so make sure to make your decisions with your interest in mind not what someone else has decided is best for you. These past few weeks have truly blessed my heart as I make memories that will last a lifetime, balancing school and family along side, but overall just enjoying each day for what it is- an opportunity to live! to breathe! to be freely me! :)